i’m coming out. again.

Posted: October 5, 2011 in Bison/Buffalo, Chocolatl, Crossfit, Paleo Diet, Vegan Diet
Tags: , , , , , , ,

five years ago there came a pivotal moment in my life. i came out to my friends, family and parents by telling them that i was a girl, who, in fact, liked other girls. it wasn’t a big deal back then and now it is just dust on the dress (that is still kept in the closet.)

but, this time around, i am coming out of the fridge as a vegan, who, in fact, likes meat.

yes. you read that correctly: i eat meat.
flesh. dead animal. carcass. chicken menstruation. cooked. raw. blood. guts. bone. heart & liver.
i eat it all. and i feel AMAZING.

those of you who have known me my whole life or over the past five years, know that i have been a devoted vegetarian for 13 years and a strict vegan for two years. and then one day, i just snapped. actually, i pounced (like any chocolate puma would do) onto the free range, grass-fed, local, organic buffalo burger that was ordered by my then girlfriend. this was six months ago. and i have never looked back.

i have been slowly coming out to people over the past six months and now i am ready for everyone to hear my story. i am sure that some of you are probably disgusted (my hardcore vegan friends) and plan to stop reading right now and go drown your sorrows in a green juice because i turned to the dark side and Lord Voldemort cast his spell on me and i am lost forever.
then, i know that many of you (my paleo-crossfit friends) are jumping for joy and about to call me up to buy me a juicy bison burger with a heaping side of greens, dab of organic ketchup and a piece of chocolatl for dessert! whoever you are, i truly hope that you read on to hear what i have to say before you cast judgment, disdain or excitement.

i did this for my health. plain and simple. months leading up to this astronomical change, i noticed that i was consistently eating specific foods that i could not get enough of; my body just wanted more and more and more, specifically in the form of kale, broccoli, spinach, field greens, hummus (tahini), bananas and raw chocolate (but the chocolate is a given!) all the while, my digestion was horrible and i was having to eat almost every 2-3 hours and never felt satisfied. my whole system was feeling out of whack and i had tried everything. (yes, my dear vegans, i had tried everything.) logically, the only thing left to do was introduce red meat back into my diet.

after my first taste of the bison, my mind and body started doing cartwheels and backflips and wanted to climb trees all day. i had not felt a sustained level on energy like that in a long time. i decided to do some research on the nutritional components of bison and discovered that the main nutrients i was desperately trying to get from the veggies and legumes, where very plentiful in buffalo: iron, calcium, magnesium, niacin, folate, vitamin B12 and the big one, PROTEIN! but what it really came down to is me tapping in and listening to my body.

i have been immersed in the raw-vegan community for almost three years and have been constantly learning about food, nutrition and fitness since high school. i have dealt with anorexia and various eating issues. i have done my research and experiments. i have gone from one side to the other and back. and all i know, is that at this time in my life, the healthiest way of fueling and nourishing my body is from animal and plant sources.

transitioning from a vegan lifestyle to a ‘hunter/gather’ way of eating has not been easy. writing this post and coming out to so many people in my field of work, play and personal life was not easy. i do not discredit the health benefits that begin vegetarian and vegan gave me. i know that i cleansed my body of horrible toxins and chemicals from my childhood of a midwestern diet and fast food but now i am ready to rebuild it the way our ancestors ate thousands of years ago. being vegan taught me a lot about myself and it made me look at the big picture of where our food comes from and how it is produced, manufactured and distributed throughout our country.

this is a topic that i have much to disclose about in future blog posts. i am constantly in a transition and learning more about my body. through these experiments and discoveries, my hope is that i am able to teach others and open up the conversation in all areas of food, diet, health and lifestyle. we are all one with the planet and can only continue to survive if we show compassion, love and acceptance for all beings.

at this time, the majority of my diet consists of vegetables, lean meats, tubers, nuts, seeds, some fruit and i refrain from dairy/cheese and gluten. oh, and did i mention that i eat a lot of raw chocolate?! i guess you could call me, “chocolate paleo puma”! 😉
if you have any questions, comments or opinions, please post them below or feel free to email me.


  1. Renee says:

    I understand. I wasn’t a vegan but I was a vegetarian for 10 years. Didn’t eat any animals. I always teased my hubby that IF he quit smoking I’d start eating animals again. Well about 3 years ago he quit smoking due to a health scare. You ask why would you eat animals if he quit smoking. My vegetarianism was making me a bore. I wouldn’t want to go out to eat at all anymore because I didn’t trust that the restaurant wouldn’t cook my veggie burger next to a meat burger and I pictured the grease of the animal running into my veggie burger….so I stopped wanting to eat out. I didn’t want to join in on family birthdays….I became more boring than I am already!

    For 10 years my hubby enjoyed, ‘meal of the week’ which would be a tray of enchiladas (cheese, never a vegan) or eggplant or just a BIG salad. What a trooper!

    It was hard for me to change but like you I never felt ‘satisfied’ and my body was lacking something….Being a vegetarian for 10 years was a HUGE part of ME. It was hard to ‘come out’ too….but let me just say that for the last 3 years I’m enjoying life again, my family outings which include meals that I don’t have to worry about. It’s nice going to a buffet or to a party and NOT have to ask ‘what’s in this’….

    Congrats Heidi…


    • hey renee – thanks for your openness and honesty and sharing your story too. i love it! we are constantly evolving creatures and our bodies are always changing. it is good to just keep listening and fueling ourselves with organic (as much as possible) whole foods and positive, mindful thoughts. thanks for following along on this journey!

  2. Jenna says:

    Brave and beautiful as always, pumes! Proud of you for speaking your truth 🙂

    • jennabean! i could not have started this blog without your support and love. you have been there for me in some of the darkest and most challenging moments of my life. thank you so much,..from my big-furry puma heart!!! i will shower you with chocolate hugs for the rest of your life 🙂

  3. Leah Scott says:

    I’m really proud of you Heidi! 🙂 Keep on, keepin’ on–you inspire me to greatness and I love you very much.



  4. Jen says:

    All I have to say is how extremely PROUD and HONORED I am to call you my family! You are such an amazing woman! Thank you for this blog and sharing yourself with all of us. I love you, Heidi!

  5. Sarah E. says:

    Heidi, I will always think you’re awesome, and all I care about is that you feel good about your choices. With that being said, if you ever wanna talk about going back to veganism I’m here. Sending you hugs, Sarah

  6. Thank you for sharing. It’s so hard to get over the mental blocks our identity builds, im a vegan, im raw, im a christian, im american, im a yogi etc…… all these ideologies become us and then we become rigid and stuck. So glad you are open, flexible, evolving, being authentic, genuine in your journey and continuing to inspire others with your honesty and heart. We try new things according to where we are spiritually, mentally and emotionally, we are constantly changing and finding ourselves over and over again. This life is so exciting and offers tremendous diversity, to be stuck in a one way for all mentality. May all paths be acknowledged for they are all valid and may all people be celebrated for we are all ONE.
    Rock on paleo-chocolate puma!!


    • beautiful centehua!! you continue to inspire me everyday. thank you for your honesty as well and for teaching others about the ways of the world and how we are all connected to the plants, animals, sun, moon, stars….we are all one! you’re friendship and support and love fills me up!!

  7. I highly vote for every body doing what works best for it. We all should listen to our own, try things, see what works, change when we need to. Thanks for your honesty!

  8. Brenda Rex says:

    Hey Girl…. You have listened to your body and that is what matters most. Although I’m in the raw & vegan groups here in Los Angeles, not once have I been either. I would call myself vegetarian, who eats some fish, yogurt and cheese. There is not one culture/tribe who has ever survived on plants alone. The only culture that has done the vegetarian is in India, but everyone else eats meat.

    Your path to where you are now is a path of learning which is the way to the truth. You tested your theories on yourself, learned what works and what does not. You have learned the lies of commercial farming, reprogrammed your thinking and have learned a different way.

    Much Support.

    • thanks so much brenda. loved what you had to share and i am totally with you on it now. it feels great to not have an attachment or feel pressured to be a certain way. i have learned so much and there is much more to know still! i hope to make it to the longevity conference one of these times 🙂 thanks for the support!!

  9. Jacque says:

    i love your open mind and heart. I cant wait to see your open mouth munch into a big burger!

  10. Alicia says:

    Heidi u constantly amaze me. U r one of the rare few that I know who has a wonderful ability to listen, have faith, and let go with the ebbs and flow of life and energy. Jason used to be vegan, vegetarian….he evolved over time. After almost 8 years he had a similar revelation as you did. Perhaps his body’s needs changed but eating protein was a huge shift for him on countless levels. And it started with a simple burger. His energy levels skyrocketed, he didn’t look pale and lethargic. His spirit just seemed brighter. It was a huge deal for him to make such a change. As always I applaud your pure honesty, faith in yourself and in those around you and the inspiration you give all of us to just take life in and find peace. The Puma rocks!!! Xoxo. Alicia

  11. thank you so much alicia!! i am definitely working on letting go at the moment. i totally forgot that jason was a vegan for a time! wow. thanks for sharing about that 🙂 you’re friendship and support and love mean so much to me. so glad we are teammates!!

  12. Hi Heidi, I love what you are doing in just being right out there in who you are and where you’re at. I am saddened by the meat eating. I noticed in my time in California, how it was being more and more accepted through the more alternative community there and on a personal level I just can not buy it. For me whole food is about being wholesome with the least impact and the least amount of cruelty and therefore the highest vibration and positivity. I can not see how eating an animal that has died and gone through shock, which I believe is resounding in its tissues and potentially (in my beliefs) can cause karmic influence, is a positive outcome. I am though mostly wide in my tolerances and understand that we each do it differently and I just happen to have always been a natural veggie. I guess I just see this as a particular trend occuring in your locale that may be becoming a new status ok without deep personal ok…. my personal truth is that I find the idea quite quite gross… hows that for not being open minded! And it is in honour to your stepping up, that I can too to where I am at… love to your journey, Sam

    • Jacque says:

      There are millions of people around the world, whom have pure hearts, high vibrations and carry postivity AND whom eat meat. I know many many conscious people that eat meat and make sure that it is consciously raised, fed, killed etc. Human beings have eaten meat since the beginning of time. Not everyone is a natural veggie. The power of unconditional love carries the highest vibration. When we accept what other people do as their business, we let other people live their own karmas. Projecting sadness onto someone’s life choices is not in line with acceptance. Only we ourselves, know what is good for us. Trusting our friends choices about what they find to be their personal truth is crucial and creates deep bonds between people. How are you to know exactly if a personal has reaching their “deep personal ok”? The most clear and truthful sentence in your post is tha you find the idea quite gross. This feels like truth…because it is your truth…and this matters. But saying that your ideas are more positive or are of a higher vibration (or to imply it) than others is actually believe it or not, not honoring.

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